You will mock me no more!

Instead of diligently working on software documentation at work I have decided to throw myself onto Santa’s Naughty list and embrace my desire to blog.

What’s one more year on the Naughty list? Santa still loves me (I think)!

The past week has been a blur of work, stitching, crocheting and wrapping – all things I truly enjoy; just in smaller doses!

Yesterday I decided to work on finishing some ornaments I had stitched up. In the past I have always finished all my cross stitching by hand but this year I decided to try machine finishing.

I bought myself a rather simple sewing machine after Thanksgiving. The colorful box sat in the trunk of my car for over two weeks. Each time I popped the trunk it sat there, mocking me, asking me why I bothered to buy it.

It was a terrifying purchase for me and I was too nervous to bring it in the house.

Let me give you some background. First let’s start with the fact that I am actually quite smart (no, really, I am! It’s modesty I obviously have a problem with). I can read very well with a high degree of comprehension. There have been numerous IQ tests and 4.0 grades to substantiate this (see, here’s another example that the problem is with the modesty!)

I can thread a needle on the first try and sew just about anything by hand. I have a nice eye for free handing straight lines. I have sewn stuffed animals, doll blankets, bridal accessories and Christmas ornaments – all by hand.

Yet, when confronted with a bobbin and electricity I am reduced to the mental capacity of a squirrel. No, actually, squirrels are smart enough to figure out squirrel-proof bird feeders so I’m sure even they could figure out how to thread a sewing machine.

Sunday morning I was finally brave enough to bring it in the house and remove it from its box. I sat in a well lighted space at my kitchen table with the machine placed in front of me and carefully read all the instructions.

I reviewed the diagram of machine parts until I could quickly identify all parts of the machine by name. I’m not kidding, I spent an hour with this manual while I talked to myself.

There have been many previous attempts with sewing machines in the past. All failed miserably. There were tangled bobbins, broken needles and jammed machines. It’s always been like this. I think it’s because when we learned machine sewing in Home Ec I was out sick.

I was a sickly kid in junior high and it has affected my crafting through to the present day. My frustration has always been overwhelming at the thought of sewing.

Yesterday I was determined to confront my fear and master this machine.

For two hours I attempted to thread the machine. I followed the instructions, the diagrams and the warning notes to the letter and still – NOTHING! I gave up and told my boyfriend of my defeat. The machine was smarter than I was. It won. It was right to mock me. I was not destined to be a machine sewer.

I went back to bed and took a lovely nap till noon. Mind you, all this sewing stuff started at 5am! I got up, made some chicken and dumplings (delicious!) and then sat to craft the afternoon away.

Around 3pm I became irate with myself that I was too stupid to thread this simple machine. I dragged everything in front of my comfy recliner and put on one of my favorite trashy tv shows – Tabatha’s Salon Takeover on Bravo (I just love her – she was so great on Shear Genius!).

I watched the show and was very relaxed as I loaded the bobbin and threaded the machine – ON THE FIRST TRY!

I machine finished two ornaments yesterday with a beautiful sparkly thread and perfectly straight seams.

I let out a huge sigh of relief  but before I declared myself a master of the machine I took all the thread out of the it and rethreaded it five times in a row.

I successfully sewed after each re-thread.

I was so proud of myself it really is hard to put into words. I don’t like to  be unable to do anything! And I especially don’t like it when inanimate objects, like a sewing machine, are mocking me!

I can’t wait to finish cross stitching a few pieces just so I can finish them on the machine! 😉


  1. I want to buy a sewing machine so bad! I love making quilts and skirts, and whatever else comes to mind. I love that you can get a pretty inexpensive one now, but I don’t know the first thing about buying one.

    Glad you got yours up and running! Surely a great feat! 🙂


  2. Congrats on mastering your sewing machine. 🙂 I can’t tell you how I laughed when I read this post because I have had the same problem with practically every sewing machine that has come my way… and I like to think of myself as smart too!

  3. This post cracked me up. Welcome to the World Of Sewing Machines. lmao. I know the feeling—-wrapping a piece of thread around a few pieces of metal can reduce you to an ameoba, yet give you the stamina and ambition of a tiger hunting its prey in order to figure it out!

    I bought a sewing machine in September, mainly for Bailey per her request; but I figured it would be a handy thing to have around with all of Greg’s uniforms needing repair and hemming from time to time. Sooooo….I bought a cheapie from Walmart, and I wasn’t worried at all about getting it to work seen as I do have some experience with using a machine. I took a machine quilting class way back when; and figured jogging my memory would bring it all back.

    After all, I too, am an intellectual for the most part.

    Except threading the damn thing, which I never experienced; nor did I know it was such a hard thing to do, reduced me to a drooling, blubbering mess. Took me a couple of days to figure it out!

    You should be proud! It’s not an easy task!

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